After My visit to Moffitt , two days ago, I got a bit more insight on what is to come. I will find out Friday if I will be having radiation therapy. If that is the case I will have to complete that before they will begin the chemotherapy treatments.
The cancerous tumor removed was an Osteosarcoma, very high grade and aggressive. The good news is that they removed it intact, so there is no cancer left where it all began. The chemo is to get any cells that may have already been released and prevent them from causing cancer in my lungs which is the common outcome of this rare type that, was positively identified in the pathology, that was done after the surgery.
Once the radiation decision is made, the planned chemotherapy will be scheduled. The team work at Moffitt is truly a well choreographed piece that will be set on me so that I can have my dance with the crystal tower. I have seen others moving and or being moved about at Moffit with these intimidatingly large chemo towers and that is what I have named them.
Anyway, I will be connected to my crystal tower for five days and then come home for two weeks to prepare to have another dance. This schedule will be either 4 or 6 times and then be finished. If I can stay strong and battle ready, I can complete this tour de force in three months. Meanwhile I will be doing the PT as well as I possibly can, considering the rigerous schedule of tower dances and recovery. My goal is to be finished with chemo and walking normally simultaneously. I guess my Ruby Slippers will be my dancing shoes as they lead me back to the old familiar body I long to call home once again.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Path has a Name.....Chemotherapy
I have been waiting to find out what the path is, that will lead me back to the road I need to travel in order to return to the place I was, before this cancer saga began. The path is chemotherapy, and it will be well worn with in patient treatments at Moffitt for 3-5 days at a time.
Dr. Letson spoke with me on the phone this morning to prepare me for what is to come. It will be at least six months of going every three to four weeks to be infused with a very special cocktail just for me.....not as much fun as Cosmopolitans, I do dare say, but a life saving elixir that will make me a "real girl" again! My image is that I will be washed clean of the cancer and forever changed by my renewed strength and appreciation of good health and the simple pleasures of life.
Hellen Keller said that life is either a daring adventure or nothing. I dare to make this a very big adventure and I will be honored to share it with my friends and family and try to keep my complaining at a minimum : )
I expect my friends to hold me to this pact!
Dr. Letson spoke with me on the phone this morning to prepare me for what is to come. It will be at least six months of going every three to four weeks to be infused with a very special cocktail just for me.....not as much fun as Cosmopolitans, I do dare say, but a life saving elixir that will make me a "real girl" again! My image is that I will be washed clean of the cancer and forever changed by my renewed strength and appreciation of good health and the simple pleasures of life.
Hellen Keller said that life is either a daring adventure or nothing. I dare to make this a very big adventure and I will be honored to share it with my friends and family and try to keep my complaining at a minimum : )
I expect my friends to hold me to this pact!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Caught between wanting more and settling for rest!
As I am getting stronger, I am also beginning to desire to move around more. Yesterday, I tried being up for longer periods of time, so that I could aimlessly wander around the house.
Because my knee replacement is a bit different than a traditional one, I am more restricted at the rate at which I can work on getting functional range of motion. As a result my exercises are very limited and I am not to work in a place that causes too much pain. Since the surgery removed my ligaments, part of my thigh muscle and a bit of a hamstring on outer side of the knee I have to respect the healing of the internal surgical work so it will all eventually function together to allow me to walk normally again.
The really fun part is the rigid brace I must strap on any time that I will be weight bearing. The brace goes from the very top of my leg to my ankle and it is tightened by Velro straps. No matter how well I believe that I have tightened it, the sucker always ends up sliding down so it can gouge into my ankle bone and Achilles tendon. When I sit down ( left leg held in a straight position ) the back of the brace digs into the very back of my upper thigh because all of the structural boning, which is rigid plastic, can only dig into me not meld with me!
I have been able to figure out a way to sit with my leg resting on a chair so Paul and I can have dinner in our dining room. It is by far the most civilized time of my day. Paul makes the table pretty with lots of candles. We eat fabulous food, thanks to the amazing generosity of so many friends, drink wine and talk. It is our own private little romantic restaurant.
I read a quote that basically promotes starting a new religion with one commandment, "Enjoy thyself."
On this challenging journey to return to health and wholeness I will try very hard to follow this commandment!
Because my knee replacement is a bit different than a traditional one, I am more restricted at the rate at which I can work on getting functional range of motion. As a result my exercises are very limited and I am not to work in a place that causes too much pain. Since the surgery removed my ligaments, part of my thigh muscle and a bit of a hamstring on outer side of the knee I have to respect the healing of the internal surgical work so it will all eventually function together to allow me to walk normally again.
The really fun part is the rigid brace I must strap on any time that I will be weight bearing. The brace goes from the very top of my leg to my ankle and it is tightened by Velro straps. No matter how well I believe that I have tightened it, the sucker always ends up sliding down so it can gouge into my ankle bone and Achilles tendon. When I sit down ( left leg held in a straight position ) the back of the brace digs into the very back of my upper thigh because all of the structural boning, which is rigid plastic, can only dig into me not meld with me!
I have been able to figure out a way to sit with my leg resting on a chair so Paul and I can have dinner in our dining room. It is by far the most civilized time of my day. Paul makes the table pretty with lots of candles. We eat fabulous food, thanks to the amazing generosity of so many friends, drink wine and talk. It is our own private little romantic restaurant.
I read a quote that basically promotes starting a new religion with one commandment, "Enjoy thyself."
On this challenging journey to return to health and wholeness I will try very hard to follow this commandment!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Better every day
I am happy to report, that I am feeling better every day. I was just starting to question whether I am just passing the time existing and healing but not doing anything important.
Just read a quote:
"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day."
-- Alexander Woolcott.
I feel good about what I am doing now! : )
Just read a quote:
"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day."
-- Alexander Woolcott.
I feel good about what I am doing now! : )
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Took the day off
After trying to be tough, recover from surgery and adjusting to my new way of ambulating I took today off. My love, Paul, set me up to be able to get all of the media I could ever want, so I have been totally relaxing,watching movies and everything else my heart desires. It feels great to just be! I have holed up with my two trusty Chocolate Labradors, Tucker and AJ laying watch in bed with me, while Paul has worked from his office here at home. Pure peace and quiet.....AH!!!!!!!!!! Or should I say OM !!!!!! ??????? Anyway, Life is good ;)
Monday, January 10, 2011
Now the real work begins!
Sunday, yesterday, was my first full day home, and I felt a peace an inner joy like I have never before experienced. I could feel my aura glowing and I know it was because that dreadful beast who had been holding me a hostage, had been slain, and I could feel the real me once again.
I now feel a childlike sense of calm mixed with a warrior spirit to begin the long road to being strong and healed. I am humbled and grateful to have been given this miraculous chance.
Lifted up by all of the love that has been channeled to me by all of the amazing people who make my life have purpose,I will start my baby steps on the path to a full recovery! We figured out yesterday, that Kate ( our neighbor's 8 month old baby) and I will be walking at the same time and that really makes me smile :-)
I now feel a childlike sense of calm mixed with a warrior spirit to begin the long road to being strong and healed. I am humbled and grateful to have been given this miraculous chance.
Lifted up by all of the love that has been channeled to me by all of the amazing people who make my life have purpose,I will start my baby steps on the path to a full recovery! We figured out yesterday, that Kate ( our neighbor's 8 month old baby) and I will be walking at the same time and that really makes me smile :-)
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Strange Transition
Yesterday afternoon the transition from PCA to pills was not a smooth trip, to say the least! Everything (including antibiotics) went from IV to oral and I had a tornado of nausea rip through my body.
The need to start a new IV came a reality but for awhile it was not happening. I think my veins had closed up for business. So after a few nerve wracking and painful attempts one was in place and anti-nausea medication put in.
The reaction to that was like Alice In Wonderland and I was trying to talk to images of people walking into my room through the walls. My friend, Susan, sat with me as I spoke in nonsensical sentences struggling from being pulled into the goulish party that seemed to be coming in and out of the room as they damn well pleased.
At 5:30AM I woke up in a sweat but also with the conviction to take control of matters and save my sinking ship! I refused any more anti-nausea meds, got a pain med down (I was 'way' overdue) due to the stomach rejection and slept a couple more hours.
I woke up thinking about the song "If we ever get out of here" and said yes and TODAY!
So here I am with walking papers for afternoon discharge, a trip around the hallway on my crutches and with a bit of food accepted suspiciously by my stomach.
Saving the best for last.... big bandage off, drain out, and I can see my thigh and side of knee with no tumor. The evil dark alien is gone and my leg looks pretty darn good (especially when I know how close I came to losing it). My prince Paul will take me to home sweet home to kick off my ruby slippers and have the joy in my heart that I have returned to rest and awake ready to carry on with the rest of my journey.
The need to start a new IV came a reality but for awhile it was not happening. I think my veins had closed up for business. So after a few nerve wracking and painful attempts one was in place and anti-nausea medication put in.
The reaction to that was like Alice In Wonderland and I was trying to talk to images of people walking into my room through the walls. My friend, Susan, sat with me as I spoke in nonsensical sentences struggling from being pulled into the goulish party that seemed to be coming in and out of the room as they damn well pleased.
At 5:30AM I woke up in a sweat but also with the conviction to take control of matters and save my sinking ship! I refused any more anti-nausea meds, got a pain med down (I was 'way' overdue) due to the stomach rejection and slept a couple more hours.
I woke up thinking about the song "If we ever get out of here" and said yes and TODAY!
So here I am with walking papers for afternoon discharge, a trip around the hallway on my crutches and with a bit of food accepted suspiciously by my stomach.
Saving the best for last.... big bandage off, drain out, and I can see my thigh and side of knee with no tumor. The evil dark alien is gone and my leg looks pretty darn good (especially when I know how close I came to losing it). My prince Paul will take me to home sweet home to kick off my ruby slippers and have the joy in my heart that I have returned to rest and awake ready to carry on with the rest of my journey.
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