Cocktails at Moffitt

I am having my cocktail party, once again at Moffitt. It consists of nurses changing all kinds of bags on my tower with a little small talk involved...just no small bowls of peanuts and pretzels!

Paul and I met with the chemotherapist, Dr. Conley, yesterday before starting this round and it looks favorable the there will be only two more rounds and the 4th will be the same drugs and be three days long not four as had previously been projected. In short, he feels I did great on my first round and feels very optimistic about the rest of my treatments and long term success...good news for the home team!!!!

A cute story about my hair halo that was made from my harvested hair. This morning when I was being visited by the Chemo team of Tower 5 ( yes I am a princess in a tower) the senior woman resident asked the group and me...What kind of chemo is being done, if any? Look at her with all of that hair! I fessed up and showed her what was really under the bandana and we all laughed. She had never seen this before and was obviously impressed by the concept. The Virgo warrior felt empowered with the confidence I will need to weather the hair journey which will be far longer than chemo treatments!

Jean Weidner - Paul - Kathy

To close this blog I will comment on the fabulous 20th Gala for Sarasota Ballet. My mentor and founder of the ballet ( Jean Weidner) was extraordinary in presence and charm....she is truly a legend in her own time. Paul and I were honored to be seated with her to share in this magic evening. The full circle of returning to my dance roots in Sarasota made my coming back to do this round filled with even more purpose, and reminded me of this new dance that I have been learning and wanting to share with others.

Breaking Away

This weekend Paul and I went to Gainesville to visit friends and celebrate spring. Basically, for me it was a bit like a jail break from cancer and my ongoing recovery from my surgery on January 5th.

The idea came when we were walking around the neighborhood last weekend admiring the azaleas and feeling the joy of spring in the air. I had a pang of nostalgia for Gainesville where I had lived for 12 years prior to moving to Sarasota to dance with the ballet. The flowers are amazing there in the springtime and my astute husband did not miss a beat and said, "so, let's go!".

Ric - Kathy - Isa

My friend Isa from my dance years in Gainesville was thrilled when I contacted her and she insisted we come and stay with her and hubby, Ric, who I also danced and toured with. So with very little planning involved we escaped our current life with all of it's complications and hit the road!
This weekend trip made a huge difference in my current reality and also became a vehicle that transported me back in time. We visited not only the town but we all went to an ashram, Temple of the Universe, for a Sunday morning celebration and meditation. The man who began it all in 1975, Mickey Singer, is still the temple's guiding light. To put it in perspective to my past life, he was my neighbor for all of the years that I lived there and now owns and lives in the same house and on the property that I had lived on for those twelve years. He was not only happy to see me, he took the four of us on a road trip to see all of the growth and changes on the now vast property that is all part of the Temple and a tour of the house.
It was a treat to touch the space of my young adult years and I am now completely infused with a joy and light that comes from connecting my past with my present and realizing that there is no longing for what was, only a deep sense of peace and purpose to be exactly where I am today.

I am apparently glowing with the old twinkle in my eye when I smile according to our neighbors evaluation when they saw me, yesterday, after we returned home. I have more to smile about this week as I will have dear Susan from Boulder here with us and Friday will be the Gala to celebrate Sarasota Ballet's 20 years and it's founder, Jean Weidner, who was responsible for my coming here to dance. That fortunate move is what led me to meeting the love of my life, Paul.

Next week on Tuesday , when I return to Moffitt for round two of chemotherapy I will be rested and ready for battle with a clear vision of the finish line. I feel that now much of the bad part of my journey is behind me and the big adventure of the rest of my life in front of me! I do declare I just heard my roar!

The Mane Event!

Monday was a hard day, emotionally, for me. It was the day that my dear friend Coral and I had picked to cut off my mane of hair. I had found a company, while researching my wig options, called "Hats With Hair." I picked an option that allowed me to harvest my hair while still on my head to make a piece that I gan wear with hats and bandanas.

The comforting thing is that I do not have to lose the hair of my identity to the garbage pail....I will always have it.

Anyway, in order to do this, my hair had to be chopped to the scalp with no real cute style possibilities. It was basically the hardest thing I have ever had to do! My hair has been long for my whole lfe, so it was a life changing moment. Thank god it was shared with Coral and Paul! She was amazingly strong and held her tears as she put the scissors to work! We could have cried buckets, but somehow got through it all in reasonably good form!

Yesterday, I mailed the treasured locks off for my next transformation to get through this chemo battle! Fortunately, I have an amazing husband who understands my pain and temporary loss of confidence. I say temporary because he will not let me waver from the hero's journey that I am on and still have many more miles before it is completed!

Today I am ready to go forth with wigs and whatever it takes to wage my battle and then enjoy the spoils of war! I may appear different every time my friends see me now with all of the eclectic things I will be doing to hide my impending baldness.....but something will not have changed!

My Virgo Warrior heart is the same and there is no steering off of this path that I am on to be victorious! My growl is a warm up for the roar that I can feel coming back!

Home From The Battle

The chemo demon reared her ugly head, and for real she is the Wicked Witch! I am happy to say that I did my best fight but it was a tough day! All that I can say is that cancer is not a pretty thing. I spent most of the day and early evening until being sent home like I was in the Exorcist. At 9pm Paul got to take me home and it was like a homecoming I have never known. Just being back to the place I love best, with my boys, is the true "there is no place like home", feeling.

Happy to report that after a shower and a good sleep with all....(of course the faithful Labradors needed to snuggle in) I am in reasonably good shape considering what I battled through, yesterday. So far I have stayed away from the nausea meds, but will not hesitate to go for them if things shift in the stomach department!

I have until the 29th of this month to get ready for the next face off with the dreaded witch and to get my mew...sputter..sputter mew, back up to the ROAR!!!!

Star of Tomorrow!

I was going to take the day off from blogging today. My chemo is going just fine and so far I am feeling only mildly sick. I am getting my Tower dance down well enough to circumnavigate the 5th floor here at Moffitt for some exercise, which I did after lunch and then followed it with a much needed nap.

I awoke to a knock on my door, and in walked Dr. Letson with his team to check up on my leg.
Dr. Letson, is the man responsible for saving my leg and also doing the brilliant restoration after removing the cancer. Naturally, being the saucy Virgo Warrior that I am, I sprung up from my nap and performed the best two step that I could muster up with my unruly tower partner. He gave me a big hug and responded to the event by saying that he wished all of his patients were like me. Today is the first time he has seen me since Jan. 6th the day after my surgery.

After he examined my leg and saw the early post-operative results he was truly beaming as was I. So the exciting news is that he wants me to come to a golf and banquet fund raiser being held in Orlando early May as his star Sarcoma survivor/spokesperson.

Just when the days before me looked a bit long and dreary with the chemo regimen I received this unexpected surprise! Of course I said yes, and now he has his PA, David Johnson working on coordinating with Dr Conley (my chemotherapist) so that I can be off for the event.

An unexpected surprise for an expected quiet day!

Today, Virgo Warrior rose to a future star status in the world of Sarcoma....who would have guessed?

Moffitt Mayhem

It has been a bit chaotic since my check in at 2pm. Lots of staff in and out asking questions taking vitals and educating Paul and I what we can expect during this rigorous course of chemotherapy.

The craziest part was that soon after being in my room it was obvious that there was a problem with the electrical wiring. There was a lot of whirring noises in the wall and the lights were randomly flashing on and off. Meanwhile after my nurse, Gail, got my "plug and play" port system in my chest up and running, the pump of my tower was discovered to be non functional....actually, three out of the four pumps did not work. The working one began administering my IV fluids in preparation for the actual chemo to begin. They still needed to switch my tower out in order to start the chemo because three pumps are required to administer chemo plus fluids.
All this drama forced us to pack up all of my stuff in order to change rooms. I hoofed it to a new room with my tower as my side kick following Paul who had my suitcase as his. We indeed looked like immigrants arriving in this foreign land called cancer. Once there we waited for replacement pumps on the tower so that my chemo could finally begin.

I found it ironic in the Oz scheme of things, that as everything was flashing and whirring, it was like the scene when Dorothy and friends face the projected wizard humbled and afraid. Turns out that he is just an ordinary man behind the hidden curtain creating the illusion. I think my chemo anxiety was a bit like cowering in front of the all and powerful wizard hoping for mercy.

It is now an hour and a half into my chemo infusion and I have found my courage, just like the dear cowardly lion... At the end of this big journey I will be strong, proud and victorious.

Can you hear me roar?